"My wife cheated on me and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel. I still love her and I believe she loves me. I'm just so hurt that I haven't been able to make a decision as to whether or not I should try to save my marriage."

There is little to nothing more devastating to an individual, to a marriage, than experiencing an extra-marital affair. People who live through this commonly feel a profound sense of loss, betrayal and inability to trust. The spouse who had the affair may feel similar feelings along with profound guilt when faced with the thought of losing their spouse as a result of their actions.

Marriage help is available from professionals and the couple can also look for help from within themselves as well. No one should make excuses or blame themselves for their spouse's infidelity. On the other hand, it's quite often not the case that one member of the pair single handedly wrecked the marriage. An examination of the quality of marital life before the affair can shed some insight on what may have contributed to it.

"I think our marriage can get through this. I decided that I'm just going to carry on and ignore it in order to save my marriage." "She's a good person; I'll deal with being bored; I want to save my marriage." Suppressing your feelings about a spouse's affair and forcing yourself to be content with the hand you've been dealt isn't really saving your marriage. Making empty promises to be faithful and faking your satisfaction also probably isn't the most effective manner in which to deal with what has happened.

People often assume that once there is love and basic needs are being met the marriage will take care of itself. In reality, a marriage even an apparently happy one, requires hard work. Communication, both verbal and non-verbal is an essential marital nutrient. A therapist, specialized in marital counseling, can be helpful if the couple is finding it difficult to start and maintain healthy communication.

If one partner is resistant to therapy, it is still beneficial for at least one member of the pair to seek help. Ideally, the therapist will promote emotional health, which should help the individual improve his or her personal emotional state. This should contribute to an emotionally viable environment in the home, which is elemental to good marital help.

In the old days, 'til death do us part" had a binding meaning and no one went around asking how to save marriage. Seems like those days are over, and people often find themselves asking "How to save my marriage?" You can save your marriage through an array of resources available to those willing to work things out, without going to the extreme of divorce. You shouldn't decide to end your marriage just because it isn't as exciting as it once was. To avoid ending your marriage you must understand that you are making a permanent commitment and be confident enough to stay and work things out.